jc1214 asked: My husband and I are going through a huge crisis in our marriage. He has confessed to several affairs, to being sexual with other women and that he has been living a double life with me over the past 4 and a half years that we have been married. The part I have known about our lives have been really good…but I have been lied to for years about his other life and Im trying to deal with that.
He has begged me to give him a chance to show he has changed his ways…which is why he confessed everything in the first place. I didnt find out on my own and would have still been in the dark if he hadnt told me.
The thing is…his family knew of his other life. They obviously have moral issues…his brother is a jerk and his mom has lived a very hard life so none of this is anything out of the norm for them. It is for me though. I honestly never knew my husband was capable of some of the things he has done and the lies he has told me.
Anyway, to make a long story short….his family lives 4 hours away and wants to come visit. A week ago his mom (who is very pushy and wants to dominate everything) came to visit and my husband asked if she would stay with his brother who lives close to us (at my request). I just dont feel up to facing these people and having them in my home right now. Now, a week later, his whole family “is coming” down…which is fine if they stay with his brother but they are coming to see my 1 yr old daughter.
I dont mind if my husband takes my child to see them at his brothers house but I JUST DONT FEEL UP TO HAVING THEM ALL HERE right now. There are too many raw emotions running through me and I honestly havent decided to stay or leave my husband yet. We are also having some huge fights at this time. I want to separate for a while but right now I have no where to go, no job and its complicated because of our daughter. I wish these people would respect the fact that I need space right now. My husband told his mother we needed time and space to figure things out…they are just the kind of people that dont get it and dont understand limits and boundries.
Am I being selfish not wanting to entertain his family or have them in our home right now. I know they havent done anything but there son and brother has done something huge!!! I told him if he wanted to be a big happy family like we were before, he should have thought about that when he decided to live a double life with me. I just feel I need time and space until I figure this thing out.
They are coming down regardless of how I feel…but I know they are coming because they want to see my daughter who they just saw a week ago. They dont have to stay here but I suppose I have to let them see her, huh? I just dont like any of them right now.
Brent
